


In Between: Part II

by Rhang



Series: The Assassin AU [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Anal Sex, Assassin world logistics, Assassins, Blowjobs, Don’t inquire too closely, Established Relationship, Flirting, Foreplay, Gun Violence, Guns, He’s the prize of course, Insecurities, Killing, M/M, Making Love, Mild graphic descriptions of violence, Nightmares, Professional workplace banter, Sam Wilson is a Gift, commitments, complicated feelings, growing in love, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:20:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 19,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28158957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhang/pseuds/Rhang
Summary: Bucky wanted to verify for himself. He wouldn’t even allow his mind to think about the worse happening. He pushed aside those thoughts and got up to suit up and head out. It had been a few years out of the field, but Bucky was more than confident when it came to his ability to hunt his target.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson
Series: The Assassin AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2062938
Comments: 62
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Been a minute hasn’t it? My goodness. I’m back with a sequel! 
> 
> This story takes place 2 years after [In Between](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20423594/chapters/48450446). If you haven't read that, please go read it first. (Believe me this one will hit different once you do.)
> 
> Special thanks to my beta for comin’ out of hiatus with me on this one.
> 
> Any mistakes are mine; I’ll fix them in time. (I'm a bit rusty at this.)  
> I do hope you enjoy.

Bucky woke with a start in the dead of night. _Again_.

 _Was this the fourth or fifth nightmare that week?_ Bucky couldn’t remember.

They were all starting to run together despite the numerous scenarios his mind had forced him to witness. Though varied, they were all equally troubling as they featured the same thing, the one thing Bucky would have given anything to prevent.

“Baby, you okay?” Sam whispered from his sleeping position beside him.

Bucky rubbed his hands over his face and sighed. Oh yeah, Sam had spent the night last night. He hadn’t meant to disturb Sam. He couldn’t even be certain he hadn’t yelled in his sleep.

When he didn’t answer, Sam laid his hand on his chest. Bucky grabbed for his boyfriend’s hand and held on for comfort.

“I’m okay baby,” he said lacing his fingers with Sam’s. He brought Sam’s hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles. Bucky did his best to calm his racing heart and turned to watch his boyfriend sleep peacefully beside him. Watching over Sam seemed to be the only way he could calm down after his frequent night terrors lately; that, and resting close enough to touch the other.

It was another two hours before he could even close his eyes again, but by then Sam was already getting up to head out and go to work. So Bucky closed his eyes and feigned sleep so as not to worry the other until Sam left for the day and he’d have to get up and start training.

When he heard the front door close, Bucky opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. He’d been struggling for eight months with whatever his subconscious was trying to tell him. With no end in sight, Bucky wished he would be haunted by some of his past deeds instead. Some things he did, especially in the beginning, weren’t always above board. Bucky told himself he would gladly take the weight of that guilt; anything besides seeing multiple scenarios where he was powerless to make a difference in the outcome. 

**–Later Next Week–**

“You need to try,” Val instructed from behind her computer.

“I am trying,” Bucky said through his teeth as he tried to think on the fly, adapt and maneuver through the obstacle of firewalls Val had set up. He hit keystroke after keystroke, trying to evade the roadblocks. It was tough doing any Eagle training period, but having to keep up with work after numerous nights of hardly any sleep was a challenge all on its own. Bucky was used to tough working conditions, both mentally and physically, but his current situation was pushing it.

“Then try harder…,” Val said before she pressed one button and set the maze in rotation. “Because I spotted you thirty seconds after your entry.”

“What the fuck?!” Bucky said, gritting his teeth as he kept working at breaking through. With the maze in rotation everything only got harder.

“If you’re angry about this, one day I’ll tell you about the most annoying hack I’ve ever done,” Val said softly sipping tea behind her sixteen screen setup.

She’d been testing and training Bucky for a year and a half on his journey to becoming an Eagle. While still an apprentice in some aspects she was proud that her mentee was getting closer to graduating and gaining a match with an agent of his own. For whatever reason he just couldn’t best her virtually with a hack. She’d done her utmost to be firm but assuring and resisted the urge to go easy on him knowing full well the challenges he’d face in the field. Easy wins meant nothing if he couldn’t hold his own in the field when his agent’s life, and sometimes his own was on the line.

 _No, if he wants to pass, he’ll have to hack past me_ , Val thought confidently. 

Just as the timer was running down, she could see Bucky was close to getting through as the firewalls all went off at the end of the countdown, kicking him out of the simulation.

Bucky groaned and rested his head on his desk, completely stressed and exhausted. He’d run through countless simulations with Val and for whatever reason he just couldn’t get through. Put a gun in his hand, give him a knife, he could get the job done but this was so different.

“Don’t be hard on yourself. You’re getting better each time,” she reassured him.

“What the hell does it matter if you change the simulation every time?” Bucky mumbled feeling defeated.

“Every hack is different. None are identical even if they may look like it,” Val explained. “I just want you to be ready for what’s out there. Ready for anything.”

Bucky sat back in his office chair and sighed. “Yeah I hear you,” he said glancing at the clock. He had a meeting in two hours. He needed to get moving if he was going to make it in time. “Let’s call it for today. I have something to do this evening.”

“Okay. We’ll pick this back up Monday afternoon. Same time?”

“Yeah same time. Why not.” Bucky said dejectedly from behind his computer.

“I know failing is new to you but you really are very close,” Val said softly hoping he wouldn’t give up.

“I hear you Val. I’m just…getting used to feeling discouraged for the first time in a long time about my job,” Bucky explained.

“You’ve passed everything else to become an Eagle. You can do this. Then when you do I’ll be able to put in the recommendation for your agent assignment,” Val said proudly. She looked forward to the day Bucky got his assignment, and later on, when one day they’d be equals in the field.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's great to be back! Anyone else excited to see where this story goes?


	2. Chapter 2

**–Later that Evening–**

Bucky worked on composing himself during the quiet drive out of the city. He tried to get his thoughts together for the evening ahead of him. He pulled up to the hotel two hours north of the city, grabbed his duffel bag from the passenger seat. He calmly strolled into the lobby of the upscale hotel, avoiding eye contact with others as they passed him. He stepped up to the front desk and provided his clean ID and check-in information. He checked-in swiftly at the front desk, paid for the stay in full, and got the key to his hotel room. He headed right for the elevators and slipped into one just as the doors were about to close and a couple was exiting. At his destination floor, Bucky kept his eyes low, and made like he was checking his watch as others passed him on his way to the end of the hall on the tenth floor.

He stopped at the door of his suite and keyed himself into the room with his duffel on his shoulder and firmly shut and locked the door behind himself. He rested his forehead against the wood and hoped against hope his heart would stop racing so badly. He’d covered every conceivable base there was to make sure he couldn’t be traced or followed there. But the anxiety persistently lingered and the worry gnawed at his insides.

A hand ghosted itself along his side as he dead bolted the door.

"What took you?" was whispered close beside his ear.

Bucky smiled softly, despite the traces of unease running through his veins and felt warm hands slip underneath his shirt. "Check-in was 3 hours ago," the other said.

"Traveling separately lowers suspicion, so does staggering departure," Bucky mentioned as he turned around to look into beautiful brown eyes; to remind Sam this little trip of theirs took a lot of planning and foresight.

Granted they couldn't arrive together and would more than likely leave out separately as well, it was just par for the course.

"Yeah, yeah," Sam breathed against the side of his neck making Bucky's skin heat. Lust was one hell of an antidote to anxiety Bucky was starting to learn. Sam bit gently against his neck before backing off. "Get in here and take your pants off already," Bucky heard as he opened his eyes again and saw Sam walking away.

His eyes were transfixed on Sam's back as the other took off his shirt and made a left into what Bucky could only guess was the bedroom of their weekend getaway hotel suite.

He glanced around the hotel suite and saw a nice little sitting room with a TV set and small kitchen area. Bucky wanted to go with a nicer hotel with better suite options for their trip but Sam insisted none of that would matter. They weren’t actually taking the trip to use the room besides getting away from their normal surroundings and traveling for a short time together.

He adjusted his bag on his shoulder and carried his things into the bedroom. He dropped his duffle at the foot of the bed as he went right to Sam seated naked on the edge of the King sized bed. He leaned down and kissed his boyfriend's lips, taking a chance to savor the moment. To cast away the anxiety, the frustrations and stress of work during the week to enjoy his well deserved time away with the man he loved.

"Did you order room service like I suggested?" Bucky asked as he looked down into Sam's beautiful eyes. Sam caressed his fingers against his arm before answering.

"I got in just as the kitchen closed," Sam explained. Bucky nodded in understanding. "It'll be fine ‘til morning," Sam assured him.

Bucky brushed his fingers down Sam's bare arm. "I could go out and get you something to eat," Bucky offered.

Sam smiled handsomely before he brought Bucky back down into another kiss. He kissed deeply into the other’s mouth and pecked softly at his lips as they began to part again.

"Now why would I let you leave when you've just arrived?" Sam whispered against his lips. Sam looked into Bucky's eyes and felt desire burn molten in the pit of his stomach. "You still have your pants on," Sam pointed out glancing down for just a second.

"I won't for long," Bucky whispered back before he pressed forward and laid Sam down on the bed.

Sam stretched out and slipped his hands underneath Bucky’s shirt.

“Undress for me baby,” Sam whispered softly. The look in his eye said a bit more and lit Bucky’s fire in no time flat.

Bucky sat up and took off his shirt, as Sam undid the button and zip of his pants. Sam slid his hand up Bucky’s abs making his skin warm and his dick jump.

“Probably should have had something else on my mind today, but I could not stop thinking about this weekend,” Sam said watching as Bucky got up and stripped off the rest of his clothing. Sam let his eyes take in all of the bare skin being revealed to him.

From the moon shaped scars to the hidden scar tissue, Sam loved every part of his man.

“I think I have an idea as to why, but tell me anyway,” Bucky said grinning warmly as he caressed his hands up Sam’s thighs after he approached the bed again now naked as Sam had wished.

Sam sighed softly at his touch and opened his eyes.

“I think it’s obvious by now, don’t you think?” Sam said reaching down to touch himself. “We’re here now…show me a good time.”

Bucky placed kisses against the inside of Sam’s thighs and listened as his love took deep breaths. He moved to kiss the tip of Sam’s erection and felt his mouth water for a taste. He sucked for a brief moment at the tip, dipping his tongue into the slit at the head and felt Sam’s hands grasp and fingers tangle in his hair.

“ _Baby, baby_ ,” Bucky breathed, as if intoxicated by Sam’s flavor.

“Please babe,” Sam whispered, moving his leg a bit to give Bucky more room to do whatever he wanted to do.

Bucky noticed Sam giving him space and brushed his thumb against the back of Sam’s knee. “Gonna let me be sweet to you tonight?” Bucky asked.

Sam tried to think about it, but Bucky’s breath against his erection was making it hard to process thoughts. When Bucky mentioned _being sweet_ , it usually meant going until it ached so good. The last time Sam had given Bucky the go ahead to do so, Sam had to call out of the work the next day. He wasn’t in pain or anything, he just needed a day to re-prioritize his life.

“Baby?” Bucky asked to get his attention as he brushed his lips lightly against his dick.

“Ye-yeah, I don’t see why not,” Sam breathed preparing himself for the evening ahead of them.

Pressing deep at a measured pace, Sam felt his limbs weigh heavy as he tried to hold onto Bucky. They were on their second round of the night and Bucky had been completely saccharine during their first round; drawing out their orgasms until Sam whimpered for it. Their second round was a slow climb and just as arousing.

He didn’t understand how Bucky could stay so focused when they made love like this, it was like a superpower.

“James, _baby please_ ,” Sam moaned, feeling the pleasure coalesce in his chest.

“Hmm?” Bucky answered looking down at Sam.

Sam struggled to open his eyes and look at the other, but it was just too much. “ _Please_ ,” Sam repeated.

“Talk to me love,” Bucky whispered, placing kisses along Sam’s brow.

“I-I need…want you,” Sam mumbled.

“I’m right here baby,” Bucky whispered, slowing down his thrust to kiss Sam’s lips.

Sam’s kiss was slower and sloppier than usual and Bucky loved every second of it. Taking his love apart like this on occasion was his pleasure. While Bucky knew he could sometimes drag it on too long, witnessing Sam so turned on and filled to the brim with pleasure was unlike anything else. It was a side of Sam only Bucky could bring out after three years together.

When they parted from their kiss, Sam was taking soft breaths with his eyes closed. Bucky brushed his nose against Sam’s, still so enchanted with the one by his side.

“I love you so, so much,” Bucky whispered before he placed another kiss on Sam’s lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still so in love, ya love to see it.


	3. Chapter 3

**–Next Day / Sunday–**

The wind breezed in gently as Sam relaxed out on the balcony of their hotel suite the next morning. He was waiting for Bucky to come back from wherever the other had gone. Sam leaned against the balcony railing and looked out on the nice view from the tenth floor. Steps behind him told him the other was back already. He glanced back into their room to see Bucky walking up behind him. The kisses against Sam’s bare shoulder went so well with the loving touch against his lower stomach.

Bucky took a deep breath of Sam’s scent and whispered, “Could have sworn I left you in bed little birdie.”

Sam swallowed the smile on his lips as he remembered last night. The heated kisses, the deep-throat pleas Bucky had managed to coax out of him. Just thinking about it made Sam want to ask for more. He turned around to lean against the balcony railing as he looked into the other’s eyes. It went without saying how nice it was to be away with Bucky in general for once rather than staying in town and frequenting the same various places they’d gone to for the last 3 years of their relationship.

Bucky embraced him and rested his chin on his shoulder. Sam rested his head on Bucky’s shoulder and sighed. In his love’s arms Sam’s mind went to the only thing that occupied his thoughts lately.

“Babe?” Sam whispered, stroking his fingers through Bucky’s hair. The hair that had been getting longer month after month. For whatever reason Bucky wasn’t maintaining his hair short like when they’d first met. The longer hair had given Bucky a more comfortable, laid back vibe that Sam hoped Bucky had begun to feel since stepping down as an assassin. 

“Hmm?” Bucky answered a little lost in thought while holding the other.

“We’re good together right?” Sam asked, wanting to know.

“I like to believe we’re the best together,” Bucky whispered, closing his eyes and holding Sam a bit tighter.

Sam bit his lip and smiled as he hugged Bucky back. “Have you given any more thought to moving in together?” Sam asked as his heart started pounding again. 

Bucky felt the blood in his veins run colder at Sam’s question. Bucky did his best to cover his reaction and cleared his throat as he let go of Sam so they could look at each other.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, baby,” Bucky said, staying vague on his reason as to why. He was more than aware of their promise to stay honest with one another, but Bucky couldn’t put his apprehension into words let alone explain it to his boyfriend. 

Sam did his best to not jump to being upset and decided to try approaching the conversation from another position. “Isn’t the new position supposed to give you distance from the field? Make things safer for us?” Sam asked.

“Yes, it does, but-,” Bucky replied searching for the words to explain that wouldn’t make it seem like Sam would be a burden to live with. But Bucky didn’t want his past coming back to haunt and Sam getting caught in the crossfire again.

Bucky looked into Sam’s eyes and felt a panic rise in his throat as he remembered all the nights he’d awaken from the nightmares about something happening to Sam and not being there in time to save him.

“It’s been three years,” Sam mentioned looking down at his feet before he looked into Bucky’s eyes. “Are we always going to be just this? Just dating? Do you ever plan on actually settling down or was everything you told me in Paris just pretty words?”

Bucky stood frozen from residual panic but also by Sam’s question. He remembered Paris. There wasn’t a day where he didn’t think about some part of that trip they took together. He remembered his thankfulness and the feeling of utter love at having another chance with Sam as they began a new chapter of their relationship. He recalled the exact conversation Sam was referencing, but those moments felt so long ago. That was before the night terrors and constant stress had settled in and started chipping away at a foundation Bucky had liked to believe was solid, through and through. But he was learning the hard way that his love for Sam was worsening his weaknesses.

He’d been in tense situations where his next answer meant life or death and he’d always been able to pull it off; but in front of Sam, no words would come to answer his questions.

At the lack of response Sam took a deep breath, too tired to engage anymore on the topic, and went back inside. He’d done his utmost best to remain understanding as Bucky transitioned from assassin to Eagle, but lately Sam had begun to feel taken advantage of; that Bucky was too comfortable having Sam as the supportive boyfriend. He just didn’t know how much longer he could sit by and contend with the feeling that his life was going nowhere at Bucky’s side.

Bucky wanted to run after Sam, explain everything even if it all came out in a disgusting jumble of words, except he didn’t move a muscle as he watched the other go back inside. Having Sam upset about where they currently stood in their relationship was the last thing Bucky wanted, however his nightmares were too much to ignore. The fear that gripped him night after night of Sam being comfortable and safe in their home and someone coming in and taking that safety and security from them, _taking Sam from him;_ was too much for Bucky to manage much longer. Never mind Sam moving in and taking a step closer to that being a real possibility.

That night when they laid down for their last evening in the hotel suite, Sam still wasn’t talking to Bucky. They showered and readied for bed separately. Sam gave Bucky space to do what he needed to, but also stayed just out of reach of Bucky touching him.

Bucky finished his shower and felt not only his nightly stress settle in; Sam not talking to him was adding another layer of unease. Bucky wasn’t sure of what he’d do if Sam didn’t wake or reach for him when he woke up from a night terror. When he left the bathroom, the light in the bedroom was already off and Sam was already under the covers. Bucky slipped into bed in the dark of the hotel room and felt worse by the second.

This wasn’t them. He and Sam were usually all over one another when they went to sleep together. Night terrors aside, Bucky wasn’t even sure if he could fall asleep with Sam in the bed and so far away. He rested his head on the pillow and glanced over at Sam facing away from him in the dark. He wanted to touch Sam, to pull him close and apologize, to plead with his love that he needed the simple comfort of his touch so far from home to get some rest.

But Bucky knew Sam wouldn’t hear of it at the moment.

He settled for resting his fingertips against Sam’s back, and closed his eyes with a silent prayer it would be enough to get him to sleep. Then back to sleep when he eventually woke up in two to three hours. 

* * *

**–Next Day / Monday / 3:00 P.M.–**

Sam rounded his desk to update some final documents for his students as they started winding down their class for the day. Ambient chatter and talking went on as Sam thought about all of the grading he needed to do the moment he got home so he’d have a free weekend.

 _Free weekend for what?_ Sam thought.

“Hey Mr. Wilson, how’s your boyfriend doing?” one of his students asked randomly.

Like all educators, Sam did his best to keep his personal and professional lives separate from one another. He was a high school teacher and like any high school, everyone’s business traveled, didn’t matter if it was a student’s or teacher’s. The only reason he wasn’t concerned with talking about his personal life was because the students currently in his class had been with him since they were sophomores. As seniors now, they were like a little family after three years.

“You know Mr. Wilson don’t like to talk about that!” one of the girls said in his defense. “Don’t be rude asking other people they business.”

“I appreciate that Tiff,” Sam said, giving them all a soft smile. “But he’s fine.”

“Ms. Knight said you only like white guys Mr. Wilson,” Ashlee said giggling.

“That is not true! She did not say that,” Sam said acting scandalized, but that statement was nothing new. Misty had said something similar to Sam once in the teachers’ lounge after she’d seen a picture of Bucky in his phone. 

“Yeah she did! Mack was in fourth period with me. Didn’t she say that?”

“Yeah, she did,” Mack affirmed. 

They all laughed together for a bit before the bell. As everyone got up to leave, Sam said his goodbyes to his students and tried his best to bury thoughts of Bucky. The conversation with his students had brought Bucky back to his mind after he’d drove back early this morning from the hotel where he left Bucky sleeping. Sam didn’t want to talk before work, not when he had to sit in traffic to make it on time. Getting into an argument with Bucky wasn’t a smart way to start his day. 

But upon pulling into the parking lot at school, Sam felt bad leaving things on sour terms after their weekend away. After they’d put so much work into having that trip together. Sam hadn’t even looked at his phone. He was more than certain Bucky had left him a message or two.

Now alone in his classroom, Sam readied himself to head home. He packed up his things, locked up his classroom and swung by the office to check his mailbox one last time. When he saw nothing in his mailbox, he headed out to the teachers’ parking lot. He shielded his eyes from the afternoon sun and figured he should call Bucky when he got home, so they could talk again.

As Sam made it further into the parking lot, he noticed a tall, black man leaning against a truck he didn’t recognize. Sam also didn’t recognize the guy as a teacher but minded his business and kept walking to his car. As Sam was about to pass by the truck the man stepped out in front of him and stood before him. The man was Sam’s height, well dressed in a suit, with short dreads and a shaved undercut.

“Mr. Wilson, please do come with me,” the man said as he looked into Sam’s eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sam....you may be in danger girl.


	4. Chapter 4

**–Monday // 3:56 P.M.–**

Bucky sat behind his computer working away trying to stay focused on his tasks and not the fact Sam hadn’t replied to a single one of his texts since that morning. He knew they were fighting, but it wasn’t like Sam to not say anything when he was upset and had some time to cool off. Bucky filled his day with tasks and simulation training. He was just about to make it past the last set of firewalls. He’d gotten closer today than he had at any other time. He could feel success was just a few minutes away if he kept at it.

**_RING! RING!_ **

His cell went off with Sam’s ringtone. His hands left the keyboard as he moved to quickly answer the phone.

Beating the simulation was vital however hearing from his boyfriend was just as important.

Bucky picked up the call and released a tense breath as he greeted the other and rested back in his computer chair. “Hey baby,” Bucky said softly.

“Hey babe. How’s your day going?” Sam said rather easily.

“Good I guess, still working on trying to beat Val,” Bucky admitted. “You coming over tonight? I...wanna talk to you. Clear up some things we discussed this weekend.”

“I don’t think I’ll make it tonight. I have papers to grade,” Sam said in an even tone.

Bucky felt saddened at Sam’s answer but figured the week _had_ just started. He’d just had Sam to himself all weekend, he couldn’t be greedy for his lover’s time; especially when he was the one reluctant to move in together.

“But remember, this Saturday…the beach,” Sam said calmly.

Bucky felt his heart seize in his chest as he stood to his feet. He wasn’t imagining it. Sam had just dropped their code for an unsafe situation. He wanted to instantly ask where Sam was but that went against the reason for having the code. Sam was probably in mixed company and couldn’t let on that he was tipping him off. 

Bucky swallowed his anxiety. “Yeah babe. I hear you. This Saturday. I won’t forget,” Bucky said feigning his emotions. “I’m looking forward to it.”

“I love you,” Sam said softly. Bucky knew he wanted to say more than that. “I’m gonna let you get back to work.”

Bucky was shaking with anger and worry; he grasped his hand into a fist.

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose as it felt like one of his nightmares were playing out before him in real time.

“I love you too baby. I’ll see you Saturday,” Bucky breathed before the call disconnected. 

Bucky gripped his phone in his grasp and steadied his mind. He didn’t have time to not act. He got back on his computer and hurried to call Val.

The phone rang twice before she picked up. “Just keep trying, I’m not going to turn down the difficulty,” she said before Bucky could get a word in.

“Val it’s not the simulation. This is serious. Sam just called me. There’s something wrong,” Bucky explained quickly.

“What happened?” Val asked sitting up straight to listen.

“I don’t know. He didn’t explain, I don’t know where he is or what’s going on but he wouldn’t do what he did if it wasn’t serious,” Bucky explained. “Please can you help me locate him? _Please._ ”

Val rested back in her chair and shook her head. She could have sworn she said no phone calls after the pickup.

“Buck, listen to me,” Val said softly.

“ **Are you going to help me or not Val?!** ” Bucky pressed. He knew he could do this, but with Val’s help the process could go much faster.

“I can’t Bucky!” she yelled to get a word in.

“And why not?!” he asked upset.

“The less you know the better okay. Just trust me. When I know more, I’ll let you know. You just **have to** trust me,” Val said softly, hoping the other would believe her.

“You _know_ where he is? Where the **_fuck_** is he Val?!” Bucky yelled into his phone.

“He’s safe, I promise,” she simply stated.

“That’s bullshit! You **know** what he means to me!” Bucky said pointedly.

“ **THAT’S WHY-!!!** ” Val started to explain before she cut her own words short. She couldn’t say anymore for Sam’s sake and safety. “I can’t say anymore and I won’t.”

“……you _won’t_?” Bucky said fuming. “I’ll find him myself then.”

He ended the call.

He had no time to be angry at Val for not helping him with something so crucial. He racked his mind for where to start and headed upstairs. He went straight for his closet and regretted having to use the method. He never imagined he’d actually have to use it, but part of him was glad he had it as an option.

Bucky sat on his bed and logged into the black laptop that had been stashed in the back of his closet. He booted up the singular tracking program on it and waited for the satellite to ping. He hoped with every fiber in his being Sam had worn the watch he’d given him two years ago for their anniversary. It was the most paranoid gift he’d ever given Sam, but he’d been upfront and honest with the other as he explained it to Sam. Sam knew it had a tracker in it and he had Bucky’s sworn word he’d never track the watch unless it was an emergency.

Bucky hated the fact he’d guessed right about a situation like this. Not when the man he loved was somewhere unknown. Val’s assurance meant nothing to him. Bucky wanted to verify for himself the whereabouts of his boyfriend.

When the laptop pinged it brought back the location of the school where Sam worked. That inspired no confidence, only a sunken pit in his stomach. He wouldn’t even allow his mind to think about Sam being hurt or worse. Bucky pushed aside those thoughts and got up to suit up and head out. It had been a few years out of the field, but Bucky was more than confident when it came to his ability to hunt his target.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're getting to the fun part!


	5. Chapter 5

**–NEXT Day // Tuesday–**

After Sam got in a singular call to Bucky, the man that kidnapped him from the teachers’ parking lot confiscated everything that belonged to him; his car keys, his watch, and other valuables. Sam tried to stay calm and do exactly what the man said while he tried to remember what advice Bucky had given about being in situations like that. Sam went calmly and kept his mouth shut after his hands and legs were zip tied together and a dark bag was placed over his head.

Sam spent the entire ride on the backseat of the guy’s truck, confused as to what was actually going on. He wasn’t in the trunk. He hadn’t been hit or threatened for that matter either. Sam wasn’t sure of what to make of the whole situation. They didn’t stop for a while but when the truck came to a stop finally Sam felt his pulse rise as the door opened and the guy helped Sam scoot over on the seat. He cut the ties on his legs and took the bag off his head. It was early morning and he felt disorientation set in.

 _Where the fuck am I?_ Sam wondered worried he was way too far away now from where the man had forced him into the truck.

Sam quickly looked around to take in his surroundings and saw there was no one else around.

“Relax,” the man said, locking the truck as he guided Sam up the walkway to a house at the end of a quiet residential block.

He opened the door and walked Sam inside. The guy shut and locked the door, before he turned around and cut Sam’s hands loose. Sam felt this was his best moment to act and rushed the guy.

He pinned the man up against the door and tried to knock him out. The other guy was faster. He grabbed a hold of Sam and pushed him against a different wall to take back control. Sam mustered what strength he had and tried to push the guy down. Instead the man used Sam’s force and allowed Sam to throw himself into a table and onto the floor. Sam held his elbow, totally sure he’d bruised himself on impact with the table. As he held his arm he heard the distinct sound of a gun’s safety clicking off. He looked up and saw the man that had taken him hostage staring down at him with a gun now in his hand.

Sam scooted back a bit on the floor where he fell as the man stooped down and calmly held the gun pointed in Sam’s direction.

“Let’s lay some ground rules okay?” the man said easily. “Don’t attack me and I won’t shoot you. Don’t annoy me and I won’t shoot you. Don’t get in my way and I won’t shoot you. Do you understand?”

Sam stared into the man’s eyes and recognized the familiar cold, detached stare of a seasoned assassin. He knew that look well.

Sam nodded his head gently to signal his understanding.

“Alright then,” the man said standing up to walk off somewhere. He left Sam where he was on the floor. Sam looked back at the front door before him and saw the door had a series of physical and electronic locks. Sam felt his stomach drop.

It was locked tight. He wasn’t going anywhere.

* * *

After a few hours stuck inside of the house with his kidnapper, Sam felt his comfort level with the other raise just a little. The man had provided food, gave Sam space to himself and didn’t hover over him. It was probably the absolute wrong way to handle the situation, but Sam didn’t know what else he could do to get answers.

He kept his eyes on the other man and noticed he was built and muscular. He looked lean but if their tussle by the front door was anything to go by, Sam knew the other man was stronger than him.

“So what the fuck is all this?” Sam asked. “Ransom?”

“No,” the other man said simply.

“What other reason is there to grab a grown man in broad daylight?” Sam wondered out loud. “There’s easier ways to get laid my guy. Hate to break it to you but I’m already taken.”

“You talk a lot for someone without a weapon,” Erik said simply taking the gun out again. “What did I say about annoying me?”

“Who needs a gun when I can beat your ass with my bare hands?” Sam countered.

“I highly doubt that,” the man said, keeping his eyes fixed on him. 

“What’s your name?” Sam asked.

“Why?”

“So I can call you something other than ‘ _asshole_ ’ in conversation seeing as how we’re going to be here for a while,” Sam reasoned.

The man smirked and gave barely a chuckle. “The name’s Stevens.”

“Hi kidnapper Stevens, my name is Sam,” Sam said sarcastically.

“I’m more than aware of who you are,” Erik said sitting forward as he looked at Sam.

That made Sam sit back a little on the couch where he was keeping to himself in the silence between them.

Erik eyed Sam wondering if this was really who Barnes stepped down for.

“I really couldn’t bring anything with me? I have papers to grade this week. I’m going to get so behind with work,” Sam thought aloud. His life was most likely in danger and he was probably hours away from being tortured or murdered. But work was work and it helped Sam stay calm despite his current situation. Sam sat forward again toward the other. “Who’s really after me?” Sam asked, taking a stab in the dark to get answers.

Erik looked at Sam and sat forward too. “What makes you think it isn’t me?” Erik asked with a straight face.

“You don’t seem like the type to play with your food. You have no patience. You would have shot me in the parking lot if you were the one after me,” Sam explained plainly.

Erik nodded, impressed that the other had inferred that much from their short time together. He must have learned a thing or two from Barnes.

Erik rested back in his seat and kept Val’s instructions in mind. “The less you know the better.”

"Man whatever,” Sam said. “Fuck you.” 

Sam headed upstairs to be alone and to look for a way out. He checked each room in the one story home and found the windows were barred on the inside. Sam looked around curious as to what kind of house he was being held in. He hit the restroom and selected a room at the very end of the hall to put distance between him and the other man.

Sam checked to see if he could lock the door. When it clicked and the knob wouldn’t budge, he was satisfied and took a seat on the lone bed in the room and stared into his hands. He thought about his family and co-workers who must know now that he’s missing and must be worried sick. He knew Bucky wasn’t doing any better either. Sam could practically hear the other restraining himself from launching into a full interrogation as Stevens listened to the call on speaker. Sam thought about the fight they’d got into last night and prayed that wouldn’t be the last conversation they could have with one another.

Sam rubbed at his wrist feeling naked without his watch on. Despite making a fuss at first about the tracker, Sam never went a day to work without putting it on. It felt like a security blanket in plain sight. It was reassurance that he’d never go missing with someone he loved able to find him. But the moment Stevens took everything from him and stashed it in the glove compartment of Sam’s vehicle leaving it behind, Sam felt exposed and un-tethered in the most uncomfortable way. He knew Bucky was skilled. Sam just hoped he’d find him in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Bucky make it?


	6. Chapter 6

**–Next Day // Wednesday–**

Sam was surprised to see a fully stocked fridge when he woke up the next day after locking himself in the back room. Part of him wondered if he’d missed a chance to make a break for it, but doubted that was the case. He hadn’t even checked the kitchen when he locked himself into his room yesterday. He’d been too upset and angry to eat but that wasn’t a stance Sam could maintain any longer. He was hungry and weakening by the second.

He grabbed some eggs to cook for a quick protein and saw Stevens saunter into the kitchen. Sam watched over his shoulder as the other went into the fridge to grab a soda and closed it back without even looking in Sam’s direction.

“Did you stock this place before you brought me here?” Sam asked, waiting for an answer.

“No. That’s below my pay grade,” the other said walking out of the kitchen without another word.

Sam shook his head. He couldn’t get a read on the other or what the hell his motive was for keeping him there. 

Erik lowered the volume on the TV and kept an eye on Sam from where he sat in the living room. He was waiting for Val to reach out with further instructions. While this mission was beyond annoying, since his new Eagle was high ranking, her role as a mentor for emerging Eagles took precedent at the moment. Erik preferred not rushing out into the field blind. Plus he didn’t mind the nice check that came with his current contract.

He watched Sam move easily as he cooked and admired the other’s attitude toward his situation despite knowing nothing at all about the danger he was currently in. Erik sipped his drink and smirked to himself at the thought of Sam not being bad looking either. Erik couldn’t imagine actually leaving his job for love the way Barnes did, but it was a nice fantasy to entertain from time to time. Well, until he remembered the jet-setting and enormous bank account he enjoyed maintaining. He glanced over at the other man plating the food he’d made and thought about what it may be like coming home to a significant other regularly.

He heard a distinct click happen just next to his right ear, the sound of a gun cocking. It was so extra, using a gun that cocks just to announce one's presence. But he figured the other just couldn't resist rubbing it in.

"Took you long enough," Erik said under his breath as he put his drink down.

"Shut up Stevens," Bucky said quietly. “Get on your feet.”

Erik rose from his seated position and raised his hands to show he was unarmed. He turned around to be greeted by Barnes’ pissed off expression as the other held the gun steady despite the molten anger in his eyes.

“This is not what you think Barnes, don’t be stupid,” Erik stated simply.

“Shut-,” Bucky said, keeping his gun extended toward Erik pointed at his chest.

"Did you want something-," Sam said, walking out to speak to Stevens when he noticed Bucky standing there in front of him with his gun raised. Hair pulled back into a neat bun at the base of his skull, Bucky had on his stealth tact suit and ultra-lite bullet proof vest. Sam felt his heart jump for joy as he rushed to his boyfriend’s side and hugged him. He hugged Bucky tight, almost shaking as he did so as he realized his calm demeanor before had all been a facade.

Bucky used his free arm to hug Sam close to his side.

"Thank you, thank you for finding me," Sam said, relieved to see Bucky there.

"Without a doubt I was coming for you," Bucky said, giving himself a moment to hold Sam close. He didn't take the gun off of Erik for a second and was still acutely aware of the threat in the room. 

"Let's go," Bucky said, taking Sam's hand.

"Barnes wait,” Erik said quickly. He couldn’t let Barnes walk his contract out the front door. “Have you spoken to Val?”

“She wasn’t any help. I found him on my own,” Bucky said still moving to take Sam presumably out the way he came in.

“There’s a hit out on him,” Erik revealed. The information was strictly needed to know but Barnes was about to make a huge mistake walking Sam out into the world as a moving target.

“Someone is trying to kill me?" Sam asked, looking at Erik in shock.

“Yes,” Erik explained. “I was instructed to keep you here until the next safe house opened up and I could move you there.”

"Whomever it is I can protect him myself," Bucky said, giving Erik a glare. 

"Be smart. At least wait until Val can pinpoint who it is," Erik reasoned with Barnes.

"Tuh! And leave him here with you? Not a chance," Bucky retorted.

"St-stay here with me," Sam suggested softly looking at Bucky.

Bucky looked at Sam for understanding.

“He’s right. I would be a moving target. It wouldn’t be safe for either of us. We have nowhere to go. We shouldn’t lead them back to anywhere we call home,” Sam reasoned.

Bucky thought about it and knew Sam was right. Without knowing the _why_ or _who_ that was after Sam, going back would only lead the danger to their front door.

"What about him?" Bucky asked motioning toward Erik still pointing his gun.

"Bodyguard can stay too I guess," Sam said, with a smirk, as a dig at Stevens.

Erik rolled his eyes.

Sam looked into Bucky’s eyes before he headed back into the kitchen for his abandoned food. Bucky watched Sam leave his side and calmed his heart knowing the man he loved was safe.

 _I found Sam. He’s safe_ , Bucky thought. _I can protect him by staying at his side_.

"Fine. I'll stay here then," Bucky said, resigned to Sam’s decision as he lowered his gun.

"Great now I have to babysit an asshole too," Erik said irritated.

"Keep talking Stevens I promise I'll do it," Bucky said repositioning his gun at Erik’s leg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He made it!
> 
> But oh how it's all about to go down.


	7. Chapter 7

**–Later that Evening–**

Sam and Bucky retired to the room Sam had claimed for himself. He sat on the bed and welcomed Bucky over to sit with him. Bucky took in the room around him and felt his heart hurt that Sam had to spend any amount of time there alone and afraid. He sat next Sam and took his hand in his own. Bucky held Sam’s hand and quietly checked him over for cuts or scrapes.

“I’m okay,” Sam whispered to assure the other.

Bucky looked up into the eyes he loved so much and touched his cheek. “I’m sorry I didn’t arrive sooner,” Bucky offered as Sam touched his prosthetic hand. Bucky had touched Sam’s forearm and Sam recoiled by pulling away.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked.

Sam shook his head and waved it off. “It’s just a little sore from when I fell.”

Bucky looked to the door and got up. Sam grabbed at Bucky with his stronger arm to stop him.

“It’s not that. I hurt myself falling into a table,” he explained.

“He didn’t touch you?” Bucky asked for clarity as he took his seat again on the bed.

“No,” Sam said simply. “When we got here, I thought I could take him before he really locked the door. He got the better of me and I fell,” Sam said feeling stupid for even trying to best an assassin.

Bucky pulled Sam close into a hug at the expression on his face and placed a kiss on Sam’s cheek.

“Thought I wouldn’t make it time,” Bucky whispered softly.

Sam said nothing to that. He had feared the same. 

**–Two Days Later–**

It was going on two days with no word from Val on a lead as to who was after Sam. The three of them passed their time, keeping a lookout in shifts, cooking and checking in with Val on their situation.

They were all sitting in the living room around a quiet TV set trying not to go stir crazy from staying indoors for three days.

“I hate stake outs,” Bucky mumbled under his breath.

“Shouldn’t be hard for someone first rank, yall can do anything right?” Erik said sarcastically.

“Oh brother. Where’s my gun?” Bucky said looking around for his firearm.

“You can’t even handle a bit of barbed convo? Where’s that skill I heard so much about Barnes? You just shot everyone you didn’t like?” Erik asked feigning confusion. “You were one of a handful to make it out of A.N.U. in five years flat,” Erik said looking at Barnes with just a bit of admiration.

“So what? You did too,” Bucky said resting back on the couch.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t the one they were looking at for Director, now was I?” Erik mentioned.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Like I would have been dumb enough to take that offer.”

“And you were right, that first offer that got announced was a trap,” Erik said staring down into his glass before he looked up at Barnes again. “But they approached you again didn’t they? After they cleared out the ranks? That was legit.”

“I’d already decided I wanted a change of pace,” Bucky said, making sure not to look over at Sam.

“I racked my brain three years ago trying to figure out why anyone would pass on damn near ultimate power. It’s okay…..you can look at him,” Erik said smirking as he glanced over at Sam, having read Bucky’s posture. “Now I know your reasoning.”

Bucky looked over at Stevens with utter disdain. This was _not_ something he wanted to discuss with Sam right now.

“They wanted you for Director? Like, to be the boss?” Sam asked, as he rested back against the arm of the sofa. This was fresh news to Sam.

Bucky looked over at his boyfriend. “Yeah, they did,” Bucky answered. “But I turned them down. I wanted to be an Eagle instead.”

Erik chuckled. “Now, now, tell him the whole truth. That you chose IT over the executive branch just for him… _how sweet_ ,” Erik said thoroughly amused by the circles Barnes was trying to walk around Sam.

“Do you ever shut the fuck up?” Bucky asked beyond irritated.

Sam only kept his eyes on Bucky waiting for an explanation.

Bucky looked over into Sam’s eyes and sighed. “Had I become Director that would have been the end of us. Some of the higher ups didn’t like my decision, so I was delayed in starting my Eagle training in hopes to put me at a disadvantage of succeeding, so I would change my mind. But I didn’t.”

“So all of those setbacks early on…your mentors repeatedly dropping out on you?” Sam mentioned.

“I suspect the organization was expressing their displeasure at me stepping down,” Bucky said, taking a sip of his drink.

“You were a first rank agent with highest marks, hardly any competition. Did you really think they’d let you walk that easily?” Erik asked.

“No, which is why I settled on Eagle status, rather than leaving altogether. One meant a demotion, the other was certain death,” Bucky said looking at Stevens.

“Yeah, no one gets out easily,” Erik said, nodding as he thought about it. He didn’t have any intentions of leaving his organization, but he didn’t like to ponder too long on how unlikely it would be to make it out alive. “But it helped having a Legend rank Eagle on your side, right?”

Sam looked between the two of them. “Val?”

“Yeah. She saw how the higher ups were messing with me and decided to take me on as her mentee so I’d get proper training that wouldn’t lead to my death one day,” Bucky said, feeling appreciative for her stepping in for him.

“So what’s your problem with him Stevens?” Sam asked, cutting straight to the point.

Erik looked at Sam and smiled. Bucky looked at Stevens for the answer too. He knew it got competitive between assassins out in the field, but ever since Bucky emerged from A.N.U. and Erik came up the year after, there’d been a hostility there Bucky could never understand whenever they crossed paths.

“I’d admit…I was a bit salty in the beginning always being compared to you Barnes. Always having to hear your name in conversation; always feeling like I was lacking something because I wasn’t like the rest of you in the organization, some Ivy league trust fund babies, generational bootlickers or legacy killers. God forbid someone rise on pure talent alone. But when you turned down the Director position that second time, I knew I had something you didn’t.”

“And what was that?” Bucky asked, curious.

“Freedom. Freedom from attachments. That alone will mean I will get to continue to rise with one less competitor on the field,” Erik stated simply.

Bucky stared at the other and understood what he meant. Bucky had battled with it early on in his relationship with Sam. Every time he’d call Sam to meet up for drinks when he returned from a mission. With every call, Bucky knew he was trading a bit of his freedom from attachments in getting involved with Sam. Soon, there wasn’t an existence without Sam for Bucky. Once that was evident, Bucky knew he could never become Director.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm....so it hasn't been all smooth sailing with Bucky stepping down? The plot thickens. Sounds like Val's been involved as well, to say the least.


	8. Chapter 8

**–That Evening–**

As the hours crept by that evening Bucky watched over Sam as he slept, as Bucky usually did; forgoing the chance to rest. He’d spent those initial 48 hours looking for Sam, nothing mattered but finding him. Watching Sam sleep peacefully beside him felt like the best reward to replace the feelings that had taken up residence within him since he heard Sam breathe, “ _the beac_ h” during their call. The nights passed uneventfully, so when the Sun had an hour before its rise Bucky would nod off for just a bit to recharge.

But something caught Bucky’s attention.

His gaze shot toward the door as he grabbed his gun on the bedside table to get up and check. Sam wasn’t a heavy sleeper to begin with so the moment Bucky made a move Sam was awake.

“What’s going on?” he whispered.

Bucky motioned for him to stay quiet with a finger to his lips as he slipped toward the door. Sam got up out of the bed to follow. Bucky cracked opened the bedroom door and peeked out. He saw Stevens stepping out of his room too. Bucky slinked out the room with Sam close behind.

“What?” Bucky whispered.

Erik looked back at the other two following him up the hall. Erik shrugged and kept moving toward the living room with his pistol in hand to check on things.

Sam stayed in the hallway as Erik and Bucky slipped through the dark checking the windows. Sam moved quickly to Bucky’s side and stuck close.

“I know I heard something,” Erik said standing up straight from the crouched position he’d been holding to check around the house.

“Same,” Bucky said looking around and listening.

“What could it have been?” Sam asked.

Just then a hail of bullets rained in through the windows and walls. Sam flinched for cover as Bucky grabbed for Sam and brought him close behind his vest. Bucky ducked to cover his own head and protect Sam’s as Erik took cover and shot back.

“ **Alternate!** ” Erik yelled to Bucky so the other would move Sam to the hidden alternate exit.

Bucky moved Sam to the basement door as Erik gave cover fire. They ducked into the basement and shut the door in haste behind them.

“Are you okay?” Bucky asked panting for breath.

“I’m fine, I’m not hit I don’t think,” Sam said, feeling all over his body.

Bucky winced and held his side. “Wish I could say the same,” he said, showing Sam his hand covered in blood. “ _Fuck,_ I hate getting shot!”

Sam moved to help put pressure on Bucky’s wounds and noticed the back of Bucky’s vest had multiple shots in it. Many of them went right through his vest.

“B-baby,” Sam said, feeling panic set into his bones looking at how badly hurt his boyfriend was. Bucky was more than likely running on adrenaline at the moment, but Sam knew his wounds were serious.

The door to the basement opened and startled them both. It was Stevens who quickly shut the door back.

“We need to go now while we have a moment,” Erik said moving quickly down the steps, past the couple toward their pathway out. Erik reloaded his gun on his way to the back of the basement.

Sam helped Bucky walk and noticed he was struggling to take steps.

“Stevens, I need help! Bucky’s been shot,” Sam called out.

Erik walked back over to the couple and saw Bucky was wobbling on his feet. He moved to get a look at his wounds and felt his stomach drop. He glanced at Sam and moved to support Barnes on his other side to get him to the exit door. Erik knew those guns didn’t sound right for their size. Now he understood why…they were packing armor piercing rounds. Probably aware Sam was under professional protection.

He and Sam helped Bucky into the underground pathway and shut the door tight as they left.

“Where does this lead?” Sam asked, trying to keep Bucky lucid.

“To the house across the street, where I’ve put another car,” Erik explained. He glanced at Bucky and saw the other worsening. “We need to hurry.”

At the end of the path, they did indeed come up across the street. They worked quickly and silently to get Bucky up the stairs then into the garage where Sam got on the backseat of the new truck with Bucky.

“We’re going to get you some help okay baby? Hold on,” Sam assured him as he did his best to make him comfortable. Sam ignored the blood all over each of them and kept his eyes on Bucky’s face as the other’s eyelids began to grow heavy.

Erik came rushing back to the car and got in behind the wheel. He opened the garage door and Sam felt apprehension build in his chest, unsure of what they’d see across the street at their previous location. There were a few bodies laid out on the grass, but no larger presence. Erik eased out of the garage and closed it behind them as he pulled onto the street, acting normal, and drove off. Once he pulled out of the small neighborhood, Erik sped up and started to really drive. He pulled out his cell phone and jumped on the highway.

“Hold on Barnes!” Erik yelled as he waited for Val to answer the phone.

“Talk to me,” she answered coming through on the speaker.

“Val, we got ambushed at Location 1, we need medical treatment Level 4-no, Level 5! Tell me where to go!” Erik barked out loud as he worked on getting them out of the area as quickly as possible. They weren’t being followed, but he didn’t want to give whoever it was time to catch up to them.

“Is Sam alright?!” Val asked frantically.

Sam did his best to keep pressure on all of Bucky’s wounds. He didn’t even have time to think about the woman he’d never met worrying about him as if he were family.

“He’s fine!” Erik said quickly. “It’s Barnes…I’ll explain later Val, he’s bleeding out, I need a clinic that can handle a Level 5!”

“I’m going to send you a GPS location. Check your phone. Get him checked-in then **call me back** Stevens,” Val instructed before hanging up.

“Yeah,” he said glancing in the rear view mirror at Sam holding Bucky close, whispering to him.

“Hold on to him,” Erik said, stepping on the gas as he read the location Val sent and headed there.

* * *

Erik pulled into the clinic parking lot and drove around back. Sam looked around and saw the clinic looked abandoned.

“Is this the place?” Sam asked.

“Yes,” Erik said, moving quickly. He jumped out of the truck and knocked on the back door.

He opened the door to the back seat and motioned for Sam to start helping Bucky out of the truck. They worked swiftly but carefully. Bucky had passed out from shock and wasn’t responsive any longer. As they got Bucky out, a group of people in masks had a gurney ready. They got Bucky stretched out the gurney and wheeled him inside.

Sam followed after them as Erik closed and locked up the truck. They walked in through the back doors of the clinic as the team of medics were talking to one another and made a quick left past a set of double doors.

Sam moved to follow, but Erik grabbed at his upper arm. Sam turned to look at Erik and saw the other shaking his head.

“They know what they’re doing. Let them handle it,” he said trying to ignore the desperate look on Sam’s face.

Sam turned back to see the double doors close and hoped Bucky would emerge from that operating room alive. 

Sam sat out in the dimly lit hallway outside of the operation wing with Erik. Erik was dozing off from time to time as they waited for word and time passed aimlessly. As he shifted to get more comfortable, he heard Sam sniffling a bit. When he glanced over he saw Sam wipe his eye. 

“You really care about him huh?” Erik asked under his breath.

“What would you know?” Sam said, wiping his face. He hadn’t realized Stevens was awake and could hear him.

“I know you’re a school teacher and he has a body count higher than you can imagine. Different doesn’t begin to cover it,” Erik stated, sitting up straight.

“I know all about his past,” Sam said standing to his feet. The last thing Sam wanted to think about was Bucky seeing danger like this before…but something like this being the one time he wouldn’t pull through.

“Perhaps, but are you prepared to deal with this over and over again? Because that’s what is going to happen as long as he is who he is,” Erik explained. “He may have stepped down, but he’ll always have some kind of threat over his head.” 

Sam looked at Erik. “Why do you care?” Sam asked.

“I love my job…and I haven’t seen my family since I was 21. I could never let the threat I deal with get anywhere near those I love. Just makes me wonder how much he could love you if he’d put you through this,” Erik explained looking at Sam with a piercing gaze.

Sam looked away from Stevens’ prying gaze, and shook his head. He didn’t care about Stevens’ opinion about their relationship. Sam was fully aware of the risks when he took Bucky back 3 years ago. Sam just wanted to see his boyfriend again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ........a lot just happened. Let's see where it all goes when the dust finally settles.


	9. Chapter 9

It was another three hours before someone came to either of them to give an update on Bucky’s condition.

The lead medic of the team approached Erik as Sam rushed over.

“What does it look like?” Erik asked.

“How is he?” Sam asked hopeful. 

Erik glanced at Sam and wished the other had been asleep for this update on Barnes' condition. They were possibly in for news Sam couldn’t bear to hear.

“Doesn’t look good,” the medic said, being honest.

Sam felt the air leave his lungs. Suddenly all of their spats felt so small in comparison to the thought of losing him.

“Multiple rounds made their way into his abdomen. Most were slowed by his vest but…we did everything we could to fish them all out and remove the shrapnel,” the medic explained. “All we can do now is hope he pulls through. I’ll be leaving two of my team members behind to watch over him and handle any emergencies until I can return in the morning.”

“Thanks,” Erik said nodding.

The medic glanced at Sam who hadn’t said anything in a while before backing away and leaving the two alone again.

Sam tried to speak and felt his knees give out. He collapsed to the floor and caught himself with his hands. The room was spinning and taking a deep breath just didn’t seem feasible in that moment as he tried to process the information he’d just heard.

“Sam!” Erik said quickly to help him back up. He got Sam back on his feet and got him into a chair to sit.

Sam just stared at the wall, not moving. Erik backed off and wiped his hands on his pants as the sadness around Sam became palpable. Erik looked away, unable to witness such pain, and left the other man alone for a time. 

Sam aimlessly walked around the small clinic, after he pulled himself out of his brief moment of despair. They still wouldn’t allow him to see Bucky yet so Sam roamed quickly around the dark, closed clinic looking for somewhere to rest. Sam walked through dark halls that at any other time would definitely see Sam turning the other way. But he felt scraped raw and sensitive on the inside as he waited to hear about the man he loved.

Sam happened upon the small, waiting room at the clinic as a place to rest his eyes. It wasn’t until he sat down that he realized he couldn’t hear anything in that room. The sounds of the monitors from Bucky’s room were loud and echoed quite far throughout the empty building. They had been keeping Sam’s nerves on edge. He needed a moment to think; a chance to rest.

Sam settled into a chair as he tried to comfort himself and tried not to cry at the fact the bullets that tore through Bucky were intended in fact for him. He didn’t want to live with the fact Bucky could die after trying to save him. He needed Bucky to recover. Everything, Sam figured, even his own life wouldn’t matter if Bucky didn’t.

Silent tears slipped down Sam’s cheeks for a time before he knew if he didn’t stop he wouldn’t be able to. Sam took a breath and wiped his face in frustration.

 _Tears aren’t going to fix any of this_ , he thought. _Pull yourself together…he’d want you to_.

Sam rested back and shut his eyes after calming down. At first Sam thought it would be a struggle to get to sleep, and a mission to rest his mind when Bucky was so close to death, but he was more exhausted than he’d realized. The fire fight at the safe house was long forgotten, only Bucky’s recovery stuck on his mind as he quickly slipped under.

The sleep that found Sam was shallow but it would do for a while to help him recharge. But in time he heard a sound at the peripheral of his senses that bothered him. He cracked his eyes open, expecting to see Stevens walking around doing whatever, but that wasn’t the case at all.

It was Bucky struggling to stand across the room holding his side with his prosthetic hand. Sam looked at his hand and saw blood beginning to seep into all of his bandages. Bucky’s entire torso was bandaged up underneath his hospital gown. They’d cut his shirt and vest off of him by the looks of it.

“We need to leave,” Bucky huffed trying to catch his breath. From the ashen look of his skin, to his wobbly stance; it was obvious Bucky was in terrible shape, and shouldn’t have been out of bed.

“Buck, look at yourself! We can’t! You won’t make it,” Sam argued getting to his feet. He rushed to his boyfriend’s side and helped him stand up straight. “You shouldn’t be up walking. The doctor said the bullets did a lot of damage internally.”

“I’m fine,” Bucky said before he started coughing roughly. Bucky’s body waned against Sam, forcing him to support more of Bucky’s weight as he tried to stand.

Common sense was screaming at Sam that all of this was a bad idea and that Bucky was risking everything by trying to move at a time like this. Panic set into Sam's gut as he prayed these wouldn’t be Bucky’s final moments, there in his arms. Resolve steeled in Sam’s mind as he realized what he needed to do.

“We need to get you back in bed before you really hurt yourself,” Sam said sternly, slinging Bucky’s arm over his shoulder to walk him back to his room. 

“I’ve survived worse, _trust me_. Losing you is not something I want to try,” Bucky argued as he took his arm off of Sam’s shoulder, took his hand, and started for the exit door.

Bucky tugged Sam away from the direction of his room. Sam shook his head knowing none of this was okay.

They started walking; foot falls echoing on the tile of the waiting room, as Bucky’s steps wavered and Bucky collapsed, almost pulling Sam down with him to the floor.

“STEVENS!” Sam yelled for the other man.

Erik woke with a start and hurried to the sound of Sam’s voice. He walked into the far waiting room where he’d left Sam sleeping earlier only to find him tearing up over Barnes passed out, bloody on the floor.

“What the-?” Erik asked. _How had Barnes made it out of his room and come this far?_ Erik wondered.

Sam glanced back at Erik thankful he’d heard his call. “Help me! Please. We have to get him back in bed,” Sam said, trying to wipe away the blood on his hands so he could get a grip on Bucky to get him up.

Erik shook his head, but moved to help Sam get Barnes off the floor. They worked together to get Bucky back into his hospital bed. Erik worked with his basic knowledge to get Bucky’s leads and IV back in as he tried not to develop any kind of sympathy toward the other. Sam had been standing back quietly as Erik worked, typing something on a cell phone. When Erik was finished and backed away from Bucky’s bedside Sam looked at Stevens before moving to take Bucky’s hand.

“Thank you,” Sam said gratefully.

“No problem. Hard-headed asshole, isn’t he?” Erik said softly.

Sam never took his eyes off of Bucky’s pale, sleeping face. He brushed some of Bucky’s hair back from his forehead and sucked back the beginning of tears.

“Are you ready to leave?” Sam asked.

“What?”

Sam looked up into Erik’s eyes. “Are you ready to leave for the next safe house?”

“What?” Erik asked, confused. He could have sworn they were going to wait for Barnes to recover before moving on.

“Loving someone means taking care of them…even if that means doing something that may break their heart,” Sam said looking down at Bucky passed out in the bed, having completely bled through his stitches and bandages. “I’m leaving in 20 minutes. Are you coming or not?” Sam said backing away from Bucky’s bedside before walking out of the room.

Sam wasn’t happy about what he was about to do, but Bucky hadn’t left him with many choices. Bucky wouldn’t stop and think about himself, or his own well-being if he was worried about Sam.

 _I could lose him forever if he doesn’t stay put here and now. So I’ll take myself out of the equation_ , Sam thought heading back into the hall to wait for Stevens at the back door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is really watching out for who now?


	10. Chapter 10

Bucky couldn’t say when exactly he came back to full consciousness. There were times he could have sworn he saw Sam standing over him, holding his hand. Another time he saw Val sitting in his room quietly clicking away on a laptop but when he looked again she wouldn’t be there. Bucky opened his eyes and felt like he’d been hit by ten trucks successively. He moaned to get someone’s attention and saw someone come in. A nurse in a white gown and face mask walked in and checked him over.

Bucky had checked himself into an organization clinic enough times to know he was probably at one currently being watched over.

“How long have I been out?” he asked. Getting back up to speed was the most important thing.

“About eight days,” the nurse attendant said coolly.

“ ** _Eight_** days?!” Bucky said, shocked. He really must have been at Death’s door to be unconscious for that long.

“Where are the two that brought me here?” he asked trying to sit up. His body refused to respond.

“Please don’t try to move, we’re weaning you off of medication to hinder unnecessary bodily movement,” the nurse informed him. “The agent that called in your case left eight days ago. He left instructions that you be told to look at your phone.” After telling Bucky that much, the nurse handed over Bucky’s phone.

Bucky grabbed for his phone with his prosthetic hand since his prosthetic arm was the only part of him responding to his will. He quickly clicked through his phone and expected a message that told Bucky where the second safe house location would be so he could meet them there.

He was not expecting to read what had been left in the Notes app on his phone eight days ago.

_“I can’t begin to explain what it’s like to watch you fight for your life in front of me James. To have seen those bullet holes through your vest or the disappointment at you refusing to stay at this clinic and heal yourself. I’m leaving with Stevens of my own free will, so don’t worry. I want you to rest and recover. I want you to read these words eventually because that would mean you’re still alive; because as I type you’re closer to death than you are to me right now. I’ll leave word through Val how I’m doing. Don’t come looking for me. I pray for the day we see one another again. However long it takes until the threat passes. Please pull through. Love, Sam.”_

Bucky read the message several times near tears. Everything he feared felt like it was closing in. The man he loved was gone again. It hurt so much more because Sam had left him behind intentionally. 

Bucky rested back on the hospital bed to which he was confined and tried to come to terms with how lonely, worried and heartbroken he truly felt. He’d only wanted to keep Sam safe and had ended up worrying the other even more in his recklessness.

**–TWO WEEKS LATER–**

Bucky walked up the walkway to his home with a limp in his step as he held his side. He let himself in and shut the door. He listened to the emptiness within the house and rested against the front door having failed his mission to save Sam.

While he stayed in the clinic recovering, Bucky pushed away thoughts of where Sam could be out in the world and how close Stevens was to finding the hitman. He couldn’t think over those thoughts unable to make a difference. They didn’t help his self esteem or state of mind.

He dropped his things on the couch in the living room as he went right for his computer setup and booted up his system. He leaned back in his chair, still massaging his side for soreness.

 _Armor piercing rounds weren’t a joke,_ he thought.

He saw his Eagle emblem blinking and knew there must have been a backlog of work undone for him. He logged on and saw everything collating over a period of two minutes. The sheer accumulation of work he’d neglected when he’d decided to go after Sam was astounding. Most of the tasks he’d complete each day before simulation training with Val were nothing major, but it had been over three weeks since he’d logged in. He was going to be there for awhile.

He worked diligently for a few hours, taking breaks to eat, drink water, and check his stitches. He only made a moderate dent in the pile up. But he figured he had nothing else to do, so he could certainly throw himself into catching up.

Later that evening when Bucky was starting to see double from running backlog programs, he heard a quiet crackle come through his speakers. He backed out and checked his system to make sure he wasn’t being breached and found nothing out of the ordinary in his logs.

The static intensified until Bucky heard a voice come through his speakers.

“Hello?”

Bucky recognized the voice immediately. Val had patched her way in and was speaking through the speakers on his desk.

“Can you hear me?” Val asked softly as if keeping her voice low.

Bucky felt his resentment flair from Val not helping him when he first asked. If she had, maybe he would have got to Sam sooner than he did. Maybe things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did. He was still upset so he refused to respond to any of her questions.

“I know you’re there Buck. I saw you log in,” she commented light-heartedly. When Bucky still didn’t respond, she grew more serious. “Sam is safe. Stevens is taking good care of him. I’m still working on finding the source of his hit.”

When she heard no reaction from Bucky’s end at the mention of Sam, she felt worry start to flow into the pit of her stomach. “I know you’re upset...and that’s okay. I’ll let Sam know you miss him,” she said before signing off and going quiet. The static Bucky heard at the start of her patch went away and Bucky was alone again.

He bit his bottom lip and wiped away a few tears, frustrated by his own emotions.

**–A Week Later–**

Bucky worked at getting back into the swing of his Eagle duties. He showed up on time and handled his daily tasks. Val seemed to be missing in action ever since she reached out to him, so he ran simulations on his own and worked at bettering his skills solo.

The work helped keep his mind occupied during the day. At night he found his nightmares had begun to taper off. While not knowing Sam’s whereabouts was stressing, his absence oddly put Bucky at ease. With Sam nowhere near him, he could rest assured Sam wasn’t in danger with any proximity to him.

A knock on his front door suddenly got his attention. Bucky’s head snapped over to it as he got up and grabbed for his pistol underneath the table at his front door. He checked his outdoor cameras and zoomed in on the person standing on his front porch.

Bucky was confused by who he saw standing there. 

He went to the front door, but kept the gun close behind his back. He unlocked his door and opened it to see Sam’s sister standing there before him. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying.

“Have you seen him?” Sarah asked in a broken tone.

Bucky felt a sting come to his eye as he realized what her visit was about.

Bucky invited her in so they could talk. She entered the house and walked in as Bucky shut the door. He re-stashed his gun and offered her a seat in the sitting room just off to the left of the front door. He hardly ever used the room, but it seemed the best place to talk with her. 

“We don’t talk every day. I know he has his own life, but it’s been weeks and no word from him. I don’t want to think the worst but…” Her words trailed off and her tears started again. She looked at Bucky and saw he wasn’t in high spirits either. She wiped her eyes and looked at Bucky. “You haven’t seen him have you?” Sarah asked hopefully.

Bucky wringed his hands and cleared his throat. “I haven’t,” he answered.

Bucky couldn’t tell her where Sam was because he honestly didn’t know. But the bit of information he knew that could possibly ease her worry, why Sam was M.I.A. for the time being, was information that was out-of-bounds for a civilian like Sam’s sister.

“I just want to know he’s okay,” she said trembling.

“Me too,” Bucky confessed, feeling his chest tighten missing the other, but also knowing Sam left him behind willingly. Val hadn’t contacted him in days the way she reached out before. Bucky regretted not talking to her in that moment.

Sarah got up to leave. “I didn’t mean to trouble you long,” she said heading for the door.

Bucky stood up quickly to see her out. “You’re no trouble at all,” he said wiping his eyes.

He opened the door for her. She stepped outside and before walking back to her car she turned around. “Will you let me know if you hear anything? Anything at all?” Sarah asked. “Our mom is really worried too.”

“I promise,” Bucky said, as he hoped he could keep it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Absence makes the heart grow fonder but DAMN! This is starting to be too much!


	11. Chapter 11

**–A MONTH LATER–**

Sam tried not to think about just how long they’d been on the run. They’d spent two weeks at one location, then moved to their current spot. It had been a month since they’d left Bucky behind. Sam wasn’t even sure what city he was currently in. Stevens wouldn’t let him leave or go near any windows.

But tonight could turn the tide in their situation. He watched as Erik suited up to make a move on the hitman after Sam. Val had called with information six days prior and Erik did some leg work to flesh it out and it yielded a very likely spot to intercept the threat and neutralize it once and for all.

“It’s been a month,” Sam said, stating the most obvious fact, despite that not being what was currently on his mind. 

“Trust me; it’s been a month too long,” Erik said, loading his gun and checking his extra clips.

“What are you going to do after it’s over?” Sam asked, wondering.

“I got some pussy down in The Keys I plan to check in with,” Erik said with a smirk. He looked at Sam and noticed the look on the man’s face. “I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to see you Sam.”

Erik knew ever since they left Barnes at the clinic a month ago, though for the best, the decision had weighed heavily on Sam's conscience.

“I don’t know if he will,” Sam said thinking about it. “I really don’t.”

He was thrilled when Val called and told them that Bucky had logged into the system and she’d spoken to him. Sam hadn’t felt relief that good in ages knowing the one he loved had survived. However Val’s report about Bucky not speaking to her, even after she updated him on Sam’s condition dealt a serious blow to Sam emotionally. He really thought leaving Bucky was for the best. Sam never thought it could lead to Bucky resenting Sam for leaving him.

 _He wouldn’t understand that I was always just as afraid as he was_ , Sam thought, _of losing him_.

Sam felt terrible not telling Bucky sooner that wanting to move in together was just Sam’s way of spending every moment he could with Bucky lest the last moment be while they were apart.

“Barnes and I aren’t friends but I know when the guy is dedicated,” Erik explained looking at Sam. “And he has that look in his eye whenever he looks…at you. Let your thoughts spin all they want, but don’t get it twisted, the day you return he’ll be happier.”

Erik thought about his conversations with Val about how Barnes was doing; how the other was quiet and depressed according to her surveillance eye. Erik didn’t want to care about the couple, he had more pressing things to worry about, but there was something about their circumstances that garnered Erik’s respect for trying to make it work despite the odds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A month apart? What will their reunion be like if they do manage to save Sam's life?


	12. Chapter 12

Under the cover of darkness Erik set out to the location, in coordination with Val as she kept a surveillance eye on Sam’s location just in case. He walked coolly through the darkness to the warehouse where his research told him the hitman and source would be meeting again. He stopped several yards out and checked through his night vision shades that the correct number of heat signatures were within the building.

“Looks good. Nothing you can’t handle,” Val said watching in on Erik’s vision display.

“Can you cut electricity?” Erik asked thinking of ways to cause more confusion that could work to his advantage.

“No, the system's closed. You would have to handle that,” she said, making sure to keep eyes on Sam too. He was resting on the couch watching TV and hadn’t moved in a while.

“How’s Sam?”

“He’s good. Let’s get this done, and get him back to his life,” Val said rolling her shoulders.

“You gonna explain why you did all this one day?”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about Stevens,” she said, hiding a clever grin behind her statement.

“You could have selected anyone when Barnes stepped down. You chose me,” Erik said, taking a moment to talk. He didn’t think he’d get a better chance at getting a straight answer from the woman.

“What of it?” she stated. “You were next in ranking.”

“You were Barnes’ Eagle for eight years. You tellin’ me you don’t feel some kind of why against me?”

“I’m sure he said there were never any ill feelings from his end. Why would non-existent beef carry over to me? He was my charge, not my bestie,” Val said evenly. She was starting to grow irritated at Stevens’ prying. 

Erik pulled his gun out and flipped the safety off as he waited for Val to give the word.

“All of this seems like a lot of work. Putting the significant other of someone you consider only ‘your charge’ into protective custody preemptively,” Erik pointed out. Finding others that genuinely watched out for others within their organization was a rarity because people were always apt to exploit that attribute for their own gain.

Val said nothing.

“You have a good heart despite what they say around the organization Val,” Erik said straightening his posture. Now was a good time as any to give the other his gratitude. “Thank you for choosing me. I look forward to working with you in the years to come. Please have my back.”

Val nodded softly and smiled to herself.

“I’ve got you. Get in there,” she said, giving him the go ahead.

“Talk to you on the other side,” Erik said heading in.

He crossed the open field making sure to stay low as he pulled up to the lone warehouse. He checked for any stragglers standing outside and saw everyone was grouping on the inside. Erik looked for an opening that gave him a clean shot at the hitman. He couldn’t get a good look at the hitman’s face, but it didn’t seem like anyone he knew. Erik settled for an opening in the wall that gave him a clean shot from outside of the warehouse.

He only had a pistol with a measly scope. He regretted not bringing anything bigger, but then reminded himself he’d been away from his home base going on three months currently. He could only take out one of the targets within his sights. The hitman had to take priority over the contractor. Erik aimed to steady himself against a gap in the warehouse wall and calmed his breathing rate. He hoped against hope the bullet would fly quick enough and handle this in one shot.

 _If not, and they run out, I’ll book it for the entrance and pick them off as they run for the vehicles_ , Erik thought to himself as he crafted a backup method of attack.

Erik exhaled one last time and pulled the trigger. Several things happened at once. Two seconds after he pulled the trigger, Erik saw the contractor fall backward from a shot to the shoulder as his bullet made absolute contact and downed the hitman with a bullet to the skull. The rest of the men in the warehouse scrambled and started shooting. But none of the fire was directed at Erik.

“What was that?” Val asked.

“You saw that too?” Erik asked, amazed she’d caught that through his visuals.

“There’s another shooter in there,” Val said as she heard return fire coming from a single source from the opposite side of the warehouse. “Erik, you **need** to identify that other shooter. We have to know if they’re a part of this plot to kill Sam.”

Erik got up to head around back of the warehouse, as the bullets were still flying. He snuck in and saw a few henchmen ducking for cover and shooting at someone up in the rafters.

Erik tried to get a good look but couldn’t stay out in the open for long. He only hoped Val could pull some data from the image through his glasses. He ducked back under cover and waited for the fire to die down. As the fire ceased abruptly, he moved to get a look at a person jumping down from the rafters to the balcony to the ground floor.

Dressed in all black, the person pulled out a pistol and walked over to the contractor who was miraculously still alive despite everything that had just gone on. The person in black pulled the trigger and killed the contractor. They checked the hitman to make sure they were dead and headed out of the warehouse.

Erik hoped it wasn’t a case of tying up loose ends and the person after Sam was the one dressed in black. Erik got up and left out the way he came in, racing around to the front of the warehouse to catch up to the unknown gunman. He had to know if that was the true threat against Sam.

Erik chased after the figure until the warehouse was almost in the distance. Erik gave thanks for his high school track skills as the other figure ahead of him slowed up and turned on him with a pistol drawn.

Erik drew his gun on instinct. “Who are you?!” Erik barked holding his position to show he would fire if the other made any sudden movements.

The other figure removed the bike helmet they were wearing, gun still pointed at him. With darkness all around them it would have been impossible to see the other without his night vision overlay. But he thankfully recognized the person standing in front of him.

It was Barnes but with a shorter haircut. The way he used to wear his hair as a field agent. Nothing like the shoulder length style Erik had last seen on the other while Bucky lay struggling for his life in that clinic a month ago.

Erik held up his other hand and disengaged the gun from a shooting position to show Barnes he wasn’t a threat. Bucky lowered his gun too. 

“Nice work taking all of them out in there,” Erik complimented. It took a moment for reality to catch up to him, but they really had just neutralized the threat against Sam’s life in that warehouse. It was all officially over now.

“You too, taking out the hitman,” Bucky offered coldly.

“Now that it’s done, would you like to come see him?” Erik asked.

Bucky stopped to look at the other. He thought about it but thought better of doing something like that.

“No. It’s fine,” Bucky said, turning to walk back to his ride so he could get back.

Erik hurried after him and touched his shoulder. Bucky shrugged his hand off roughly.

“Don’t be an idiot Barnes. Don’t let your pride ruin what you two have,” Erik said openly.

Bucky shot him a look of disgust. He turned to look Erik in the eye.

“You have _no idea_ what I’m thinking about. So don’t pretend to know,” Bucky said before he backed away and hurried his steps to leave the area.

Erik watched the man walk away and sighed heavily. He started back heading just south of the direction Barnes went. None of that went the way he’d envisioned, but Erik was glad it was done for the most part.

“Leave it be,” Val said softly having overheard his conversation with Barnes. “Best not to tell Sam about this. Leave it to them to work it out.”

* * *

Sam heard the front door rattle around 2AM. He grabbed the firearm Stevens left him and got into a corner as he was instructed. He waited to see who was entering the safe house. Seconds felt like hours before he heard foot falls.

“Sam?” he heard in a slightly panicked tone.

It was Stevens!

“Here!” Sam said getting up. He tossed the gun on the couch after putting the safety on. “Was it a success?” he inquired excitedly to know if he was safe again.

“It’s done,” Erik reported delighted to give Sam the good news.

Sam punched the air. He rushed to hug the other.

“Thank you Stevens. Thank you,” Sam said sincerely before he let the other go. “So I can go home now? It’s safe?”

“Yeah, we leave in the morning. So be ready to head out at sunrise,” Erik said watching the happiness and joy radiate off of Sam in waves. Seeing Sam’s joy and thankfulness, made the tough parts of the mission worth it.

“I can’t wait to go home,” Sam said, heading off to his room to lie down. He had a full day tomorrow since he was returning to his life. 

Erik watched Sam head on back to his room and sighed. He didn’t breathe a mention of seeing Barnes this evening or about the mood the other was definitely in per Val’s instruction.

 _Yeah Sam’s safe now but what good is it if his relationship ends after all of this?_ Erik wondered heading to the kitchen for a drink before lying down. He and Val would have to work on logging this assignment another time. He was beat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Bucky does feel some kind of way.....that reunion is gonna be something. 
> 
> But yay? Sam's not in danger anymore....


	13. Chapter 13

The ride back into the city was a quiet one. Sam knew he had to talk to his family, and the authorities. He was more than certain there was a Missing Person report filed for him. He’d been gone an entire month. Since Stevens picked him up in the Teachers’ parking lot, his life really had been turned upside down. Sam glanced over at Stevens behind the wheel and cast aside the fact the other wouldn’t actually tell him why there’d been a hit put on his life. He just kept giving Sam the same, ‘ _better if you don’t know_ ’ line. 

Erik pulled up a few blocks away from Sam’s place to put him out.

“What, you can’t take me to the door?” Sam asked.

“I’m returning a ' _missing person_ ', hell no I’m not driving you to your front door,” Erik replied allowing a soft smile to grace his lips.

“Yeah I understand,” Sam said, getting out. This would be the first time in weeks Sam would be by himself. He leaned back down to the car window.

“It’s really over?” Sam asked with a bit of worry within his words.

“Go back to your life Sam. Sleep easy, it’s over,” Erik assured him.

Sam nodded his head. “Have a fun time down in The Keys, Stevens,” Sam said wishing the man well on his travels, before he stood up and started walking home. 

Erik nodded to himself and wished whomever was listening that things worked out for Sam seeing as the man had been through more than most. Erik pulled off and drove on passing Sam.

Sam watched the other drive off and felt the weight of isolation come back. He took a deep breath and looked around his neighborhood. Nothing looked different, but everything about him was.

Sam walked up to his house and went around back to find his hidden key. He let himself in and shut the door behind himself. In the stillness within his home, Sam leaned against his front door and wept silent tears. He gave himself a moment to feel everything he’d been suppressing while on the run. He presented such a brave face for so long in order to deal with the threat over his head. Ever since he left Bucky, he’d been doing his best to hold it together. But the fact he was out of his element, adrift in a world he knew nothing about took its toll and Sam gave himself a chance to deal with the extraordinary circumstance he’d been placed in and how it had left its mark on him.

He cried there by his front door for a few minutes before, he looked around and realized what he wanted to do; who he wanted to see first.

He got himself up and went upstairs to change and left soon after.

He took public transit to make it across town to make it to the door before him. He rapped the door knocker gently since it was early in the morning and waited, hoping for an answer. Sam moved to knock again just as the door opened.

He was both relieved and surprised to see Bucky standing before him, alive and well. The man before him looked as if he woke up to answer the door in loose fitting sleep clothes. The haircut stood out more than anything. It was as if time had been turned back and Sam was standing at Bucky’s front door three years ago when their relationship had just truly started. Seeing Bucky resemble his old self felt foreign but only after Sam had dreamt of running his fingers through Bucky’s hair in his dreams. 

When Bucky made no move to hug him, or greet him Sam wondered if coming to see him was the right decision. The last time they’d seen one another, Sam had left Bucky in that clinic. He hadn’t stayed to see if Bucky would live or die. He left his parting message on his phone and walked away. That fact weighed heavier on Sam than it usually did as Bucky's expression was almost vacant and unmoved looking at him.

“May I come in?” Sam asked softly.

Bucky only stared at him. He stepped aside to let in him.

Sam stepped inside as Bucky shut the door beside them. They stood by the front door and Sam shook off how good it felt being back in Bucky’s home.

“I know what I did...leaving you...was insensitive in hindsight. I didn’t stay to watch you recover or wait so you could come with us. I shut you out and took away your chance to protect me,” Sam said as he tried to explain. The longer the other went without saying something Sam felt his emotions twisting. He looked into the eyes he’d prayed to see again and felt his eyes begin to prickle with tears. “But I can’t say sorry for my actions. You weren’t listening and you wouldn’t have stayed put if I didn’t tell Stevens we should go. James…to leave you there hurt and unconscious took every bit of will I had. You have to believe me. I wanted to stay with you, but I couldn’t be selfish and risk your life. Not when you’d taken those bullets for me. I couldn’t live with myself if you died protecting me. I thought of you, I put you first...so I left.”

The look on Bucky’s face was complicated and yet it gave Sam nothing to interpret from it.

Sam started to feel the tears fall. “Please say something,” he urged Bucky. “It’s been four weeks and all I could think about was seeing you again...what you’d say to me right now.”

Bucky took a step forward and knelt in front of Sam as he hugged Sam tight around the waist. Sam stood there stunned by the other. Bucky buried his face in Sam’s stomach and wept silently. Sam could only tell he was crying by feeling the dampness through his shirt.

Sam carded his fingers though Bucky’s short hair and hugged Bucky back. He felt more tears fall as he took a deep breath at Bucky not being mad at him.

When Sam could get Bucky back on his feet, Bucky kissed softly at Sam’s lips and savored the ability to do so. He rested his forehead against Sam’s and felt his heart swell. It had taken him a few seconds to understand he wasn't dreaming that Sam was actually standing before him. Nevermind what Sam was talking about when he arrived, but when Sam asked for Bucky to say something, he did the one thing he wanted to do. Hug him.

He didn’t know when Sam would come back, if maybe the separation was permanent in Sam’s mind. When he saw Stevens he didn’t want to suggest that he expected Sam to return in case that wasn’t what Sam wanted. While he knew he wanted Sam in his life, in his arms; having Sam away eased the nightmares and worries about something happening to him at Bucky’s side. But when he saw Sam standing there on his front step Bucky felt the full anguish he’d suppressed deep in his heart at doing what was best – giving his love up.

Seeing Sam again made him realize he would endure every worry and nightmare, if he could just be in Sam’s world…that is…if the other would allow it.

“Why are you crying?” Bucky asked softly, staring into the brown eyes he’d missed so much.

“Because you’re not mad at me,” Sam whispered, swallowing back his tears. “For leaving.”

“Never,” Bucky breathed against his lips with a soft smile on his own. “You’re safe, that’s all I’ve ever cared about.”

It had taken a while, but Bucky had come to realize why Sam left him there in that clinic. He understood the choice his presence and crucial predicament had created for Sam in that moment. He looked into Sam’s eyes and saw a strength that matched his own. What Sam had chosen to do was the exact thing Bucky would have done if their positions had been reversed. He kissed into Sam’s mouth and felt elation wash over him with Sam being back.

“ _Remember, always remember_ , I’ll gladly accept as much you choose to give me,” Bucky whispered into Sam’s neck.

“Shut up,” Sam said chuckling softly, at their little inside joke.

“I’m dead serious,” Buck said grinning.

Sam draped his arms around Bucky’s shoulders and brushed his lips against his.

“Like I’m ever going to find someone else as strange as you,” Sam breathed before he kissed his lips.

**–Later that Evening–**

Sam rested beneath Bucky in the other’s bed after Bucky insisted Sam get some rest. But Sam couldn’t rest, his hands kept reaching for the other. He’d missed his boyfriend and it had been far too long. He pulled Bucky close against him and sent his hands exploring the body he’d missed against his own.

“Rest love. We don’t have to get into this,” Bucky whispered as Sam pulled back from their kiss a bit. Bucky followed his lips and took another kiss as he felt his body warm against Sam.

“I’ve missed you,” Sam breathed softly reaching down to touch the erection that Bucky was sporting despite saying they didn’t have to do anything at the moment. “You’ve been found out sir.”

Bucky smirked as he placed kisses against Sam’s neck. “If you insist, I don’t mind,” Bucky whispered.

Sam swallowed his nerves. He wasn’t lying when he said he missed Bucky. In their month apart, when he knew Bucky had pulled through, he was all Sam thought about, almost. Sam often thought back on their short weekend getaway that felt like so long ago, and wished he’d appreciated that moment between them more. Their argument and Sam leaving the next morning had overshadowed his memories and he wanted to experience that level of intimacy again after everything they’d been through.

“Be sweet to me?” Sam asked.

That caught Bucky’s attention. He smiled gently and pressed his lips against Sam’s ever so softly. “Anything you want,” Bucky whispered, sitting up to strip off his clothes.

Sam noticed new marks on Bucky’s back and side when he leaned over to grab for lube. Sam ran his fingers over them, acquainting himself with the feel of them amongst the others Sam had grown to know.

“I got those protecting someone I love more than anyone,” Bucky whispered light-heartedly, referencing their little past time of Bucky exchanging stories for Sam's touches against his scars. "Those are yours now," he whispered, feeling pride that Sam now had a place in the stories Bucky could tell about all of the scrapes on his body from working in the field.

“Yeah,” Sam said softly wiping the corner of his eye.

Bucky shook his head and placed kisses all over Sam’s face to make him smile.

“I’m okay. I’m not dead,” Bucky whispered playfully. “I’m right here.” He leaned into Sam and pressed his weight against him to prove his point. “Right here with you.”

Sam nodded his head. When Bucky noticed that Sam was still crying, he kissed at his lips and wiped his eyes.

“Want to rest for a bit instead?” Bucky asked, comforting the other in hushed tones.

“I’m okay,” Sam breathed; feeling a bit embarrassed that he’d started to cry at something so simple. Remembering Bucky bleeding and hurt was just too much at times. “I promise.”

Bucky gauged Sam’s composure and kept in mind to watch him closely as he undressed Sam slowly and tried to arouse him and bring him back around to what they’d been previously doing. 

Laying underneath Bucky, as the other took things slow, Sam felt those previous feelings of fullest come back in his love’s arms. He held Bucky close, and wrapped his legs around Bucky’s.

 _I’m safe here_ , Sam thought to himself as he let his guard down in the arms around him. _I’ve always been safe here_.

Sam allowed himself to let go and feel as he ran his hands down Bucky’s back.

"Buck....Bucky baby...slow down," Sam breathed as he felt the other's thrusts were a bit too strong to start their evening off.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Bucky asked, wondering, wanting to know.

"No, no," Sam breathed, drawing the other down, closer to him so he could kiss his lips. "It's just been so long since you’ve held me like this,” Sam whispered looking into his eyes. "Been away from you for so long I dreamed about you, about you holding me again." Bucky bit his lip and did his best to hold back the tears he felt like shedding. "Some nights I didn’t want to wake up so you could hold me longer," Sam confessed.

Bucky kissed Sam a bit deeper as he pressed closer to him.

"Let’s just take our time. That okay?" Sam asked, running his fingers down his boyfriend's arm.

Bucky nodded in understanding, not trusting his voice in the moment. He moved a bit toward Sam and pressed deeper within him. Sam moaned his satisfaction and sighed as Bucky slowed his strokes down considerably. Sam closed his eyes and touched Bucky's back in a light caress knowing that at their current pace they could spend a good part of their evening entwined just like that.

After a couple of rounds that spilled into others, Bucky pulled Sam close and tried to calm his heart rate. Sam snuggled close and rested his head on his prosthetic arm. Bucky opened his eyes and admired the beautiful brown skin on Sam and brushed his hand up his thigh. Sam sighed softly at his touch and leaned into it.

“Sam,” Bucky whispered, moving his hand up over Sam’s hip then down around to his back.

“Hm?” Sam answered drifting off to sleep at the caresses against his skin.

“Move in with me?” Bucky asked.

Sam shook his head. “You missed me so much, now you want me to live with you?” Sam asked sitting up to look down into Bucky’s eyes.

“There’s that…but there were other things holding me back,” Bucky said, staying vague about it. But he knew he had to open up about what he’d been battling for several months before the whole ordeal around Sam.

Sam brushed his fingers against the other’s cheek softly. Bucky looked over into brown eyes that were driven to understand.

“Talk to me. I’m here,” Sam insisted. “Tell me.”

Bucky touched Sam’s hand on his cheek and took a deep breath. He started at the beginning and explained about the nightmares, the anxiety and how all of it was new to him. How being out of control at the mere thought of it scared him and Bucky just didn’t know how to make it stop.

“I could steady my heart rate in the tensest fire fight… but there’s something about the thought of you dying in our home that…still sends my mind and heart reeling for hours,” Bucky explained, unable to look Sam in his eye.

Sam turned Bucky’s face back toward him and touched his forehead to his. He took a deep breath and kissed him. He had no idea. For all that Sam had seen Bucky face in their three years together. Not to mention the ambush they survived in that very house together; he’d never once thought his boyfriend’s hesitation around moving in together could be some form of fear. To learn the other had suffered for so long, Sam felt regret for pressing so hard and saying what he said while they were on their trip together.

“I didn’t know,” Sam said, giving Bucky kiss after kiss. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

Bucky hugged Sam close and felt relief that he understood his fears.

“If the thought of living with me troubles you, don’t force yourself babe it’s okay,” Sam said backing away from his previous stance on the issue.

Bucky leaned back and searched Sam’s eyes before he leaned in and touched his lips with his own. Slow, sweet, and hot, he kissed the one he knew was meant for him. Sam sighed into their kiss, no energy really left after he and Bucky had really carried on for a while together. Bucky pulled back and felt so enraptured.

“But…I had your keys cut,” Bucky whispered, brushing his nose against Sam’s as the other was trying to catch his breath from their kiss. 

Sam opened his eyes as his head felt light and hazy; he really had missed kissing the other.

“Set your codes and everything,” Bucky mentioned placing kisses high on Sam’s cheek as he touched his chest.

Sam felt his erection stir to go again as he leaned into Bucky’s kisses. With his prosthetic arm he reached down to grasp at the back of Sam’s thigh, just under his ass as he pulled Sam closer.

“No pressure. But you have a place here if you want it,” Bucky mentioned.

Sam sighed softly and sat up to sit astride the other’s thighs. He laid down on top of his boyfriend and rested skin to skin with him.

Sam answered confidently, “I'm in.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lowkey forgot I hadn't posted the end of this fic yet. Here yall go.....my bad. lol

**–A MONTH LATER–**

Bucky crossed through the living room amongst the boxes of Sam’s things they still had to unpack. Sam was in the middle of the floor folding clothes when Bucky walked over and stooped down to talk to him.

“What’s up?” Sam asked looking at the other.

“Let’s go out, we’ve been unpacking for two days,” Bucky suggested.

He was overjoyed at having Sam move in. Bucky honestly thought he wouldn’t sleep their first night together under one roof, but he was surprised to find he slept the whole night through in Sam’s arms. He was well rested again for the first time in a while and things were clearer than they had been before.

“If we stay focused we can be done with this and never have to think about it again,” Sam countered a bit tired from unpacking all of his things. But he wanted to be done more than anything.

Bucky took Sam’s hand to stop him from folding clothes.

“Will you go on a date with me baby?” Bucky asked, presenting his offer a little differently.

Sam looked around then at Bucky, considered for a second then sighed. “Yes. Let’s go. Any longer on this floor I will sleep here,” Sam said, moving to stand up.

Bucky smiled and helped Sam back on his feet.

They headed upstairs to clean up and change clothes before heading out for the evening. They visited their favorite bar downtown for a quick bite before Bucky insisted they go for a drive. Sam wasn’t sure what the other had planned, but he didn’t question too closely. He got into the passenger seat of his boyfriend’s Porsche and sat back for the ride.

When the evening turned to night, Bucky rolled the windows down to really enjoy the night drive. He glanced over at Sam handsomely watching the trees fly by them and felt his heart agree. He reached over and rested his hand on Sam’s thigh as he relaxed back, knowing they would reach their destination in a few minutes.

Sam looked over at Bucky after feeling his hand rest on his leg.

“Where we goin?” Sam asked, looking around. They were nearly an hour outside of the city now.

“Somewhere quiet,” Bucky replied knowing they were nearing their evening’s true destination.

It was another fifteen minutes before they arrived. Bucky pulled into a parking spot near the seawall. From the windshield, he could see the spot he’d planned to take Sam. The area was quiet and secluded. Everything they needed.

“Why are we here of all places?” Sam asked, realizing Bucky had driven them to the beach.

Bucky glanced over at Sam and gently squeezed his thigh. “Come on,” Bucky said, getting out.

Sam got out wondering what was going on. When the wind hit his face and the sound of the surf roared in the distance, Sam took in the dark tranquil setting and sighed.

Bucky stood near the hood of the car waiting for Sam to come to him. With the full moon out that evening, it was easy to see one another and where they were walking. Sam rounded the car and Bucky took his hand. He walked them out on the wooden walkway until the wooden pier turned to sand. They abandoned their shoes and started down toward the water together.

They stood on the shore with the warm water caressing their ankles, Sam took a deep breath. It wasn’t the day at the beach he’d once envisioned, although being out there all alone with Bucky felt better somehow.

“Thank you,” Sam said looking over at his boyfriend.

Bucky looked over at Sam and smiled gently with nothing but devotion and love in his eyes.

“No. Thank you, Sam,” he said in response.

Sam rolled his eyes gently and kicked at the water as the tide rolled in. He held Bucky’s hand tight so he wouldn’t fall and dug his toes deeper into the sand.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said that day at the hotel,” Bucky said, watching Sam by the light of the moon. “When you asked, ‘ _Are we always going to be just this?'_ ”

“Yeah,” Sam said, moving closer to him.

Bucky looked deeper into Sam’s eyes and knew he’d made the right decision.

“I like to believe what we went through has changed me,” Bucky admitted. “That walking up to you that night at that party set my whole life on a better path Sam. Better than anything someone like me could deserve.”

Sam rested his head against Bucky’s shoulder.

“Yeah. Life’s been a bit of a ride since I’ve met you too,” Sam said light-heartedly as he looked up at him again.

Bucky placed a kiss on Sam’s forehead and rubbed his back.

“Yeah, it has, hasn’t it,” Bucky sighed as he looked up at the wide open sky above them. “So...how about it?”

“Hm?” Sam asked standing up straight to look at Bucky’s face.

Bucky pulled out a box from his inner jacket pocket. He flipped it open to show Sam its contents and waited for a reply.

Sam stared at the ring catching the moonlight, nestled within the small ring box. He looked at his boyfriend for clarification.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to stick around for the long haul...if you’ll have me,” Bucky proposed.

Sam pulled Bucky forward and gently kissed his lips. “I think that can be arranged,” Sam whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's Part 2! It took way too long before I actually sat down to write this one but there it is. I hope yall enjoyed it. I know I sure did. 
> 
> A Part 3 is in the works but, lol, I'mma be real I have no clue when I'll actually get it done. I have an outline and it will tie up all of the loose ends I left in this one and hopefully resolve this AU neatly. At least that's my hope. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope yall enjoyed the fic. If you did leave a kudo and/or comment down below and tell me what you think or your predictions for Part 3 and what may go down when we meet these two again.


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